who let you in, the heart or the head?

For once I am ugly, I’m just now admitting to the disgust. For I see wickedly behind those eyes. Admiring them for who I thought I saw.

I Hurt myself and shed my layers. Because the lust for comforting others,Was infinitely stronger.

Of all the ones I’ve met, You were by far were the worst of them. Trusting you was like trusting paper, messing with you, cut deep.

Maybe someone who’s deeply misunderstood. Is secretly from heaven.Who moved fire and land to be brought here. Is that person you?

I’ve always been more of a fool than a girl. Living in the darkest parts of people. Obsessing over the beauty of being depressed. Talking the ears off of any bystander who would listen. Delicately speaking words into existence, by praying up to a god, I failed to love properly. I’m a petal who yearns for their thorns. To be made into an armored person, who wears her heart not on her sleeve. Sweetly addressing concerns and creating boundaries

Instead of being tied down by the weight of compassion. It simply and utterly begins within me.

The moon takes risks like you did. Did you tell her about us in the dark? How does my pain taste? How do the stars strike you now? I won’t be waiting in your absence. 

The first beating of my heart, An infant unsupervised. Maybe I restarted this. Maybe I caused it? Can’t kick the viciousness, out of my hometown. Stained it in masking tape and yellow lines. It’s only how I feel. 

Oh I didn’t know it then, How messed up it had been. But I realized it now. I can’t resurface the past. Without dredging up still waters. But I happened to notice,Where were you? When I called out. When I was busted, bleeding on the ground. Can you feel it now? The cold breeze, My passing. The lowering to the ground? Halloween has officially, come around.