7 deadly sins

I can control my emotional challenges and reponses to the point of overindulging in bad habits, but I can’t seem-to manage lust. Lust is not just the basis of wanting sex, but rather the lust for a good life, a normal brain, good mental health, good physical health, being able to maintain good hygiene and most importantly: not being a failure when it comes to taking care of things, like pre-k up to college education. I feel lust in an bone-shaking way, a way where I lust for the oxygen to be taken from my lungs. I feel it like normal people feel positive emotions. Longing for something to hold, touch, see, and be.